


And he gets me down

by birdsongcowboy



Category: Mad Dogs (TV)
Genre: M/M, am i gonna keep posting my self insert fics? absolutely! suck it up!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 21:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdsongcowboy/pseuds/birdsongcowboy
Summary: self insert drabbles ive done throughout the week. mostly canon compliant (the first ones events do not actually fit into my self insert storyline, that one was just a little fantasy!). vague spoilers for things but not really, its set pretty much right in the beginning. vague trans headcanons in the first drabble for baxter :o)!





	And he gets me down

**Author's Note:**

> self insert drabbles ive done throughout the week. mostly canon compliant (the first ones events do not actually fit into my self insert storyline, that one was just a little fantasy!). vague spoilers for things but not really, its set pretty much right in the beginning. vague trans headcanons in the first drabble for baxter :o)!

Three short, sharp knocks on the door, and Baxter desperately forced his voice to get loud enough to reach through the wood.

“Don’t come in.” His voice was small, his whole body curled in on itself in against the porcelain tub.

“I won’t, Bax.” the voice outside returned. Cox’s. He cursed himself for the instant calm that came with it, but too exhausted to tell him to go away. “We cleaned up, we-. You can join us in the um, pool, when you come out.”

“Okay.” He tried to speak louder again, his throat tight with fear and sickness.

He heard a quiet thump on the door, but no turning of the knob. “You should come out. You’re gonna get a cold.” The voice whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, and worry he hadn’t heard in years strong through every word. He couldn’t move, anxiety making his body completely still. “Do you need help, Bax? I won’t- I won’t look.”

Baxter was eternally thankful for that small reassurance, something he immediately recognized and loved in the other man. “Yes.”

He heard the knob turn, and a hand reach out behind it to the wall to grab from the towel rack. His friend walked in, his eyes downcast and turned to the side when he reaches out a hand to help the other man up. He instantly wrapped him in the towel, and as soon as he finished he pulled him into a deep hug. The tears began to fall as soon as Baxter felt himself held, and he couldn’t even try and stop them before they did. He began to shake with the short sobs, leaning his full weight against the man’s chest. Cox simply received him, knowing the trauma and every event of the previous night had been especially pushed on him. He had had the blood on his face, the splatter of skin and brains on the table had been his responsibility. He couldn’t move, simply let himself be held.

He felt Cox settle his chin on his shoulder, pressing a short kiss against his cheek.

“Don’t do that” He responded before he could even stop himself. The heat from his instant blush radiating off his face.

“Fuck off, Bax.” The other man laughed. “None of that shit, not now.”

Baxter turned his head, cocking it slightly to look the Irishman in the eye.

It only took a slight glance downwards, and Cox had pressed his mouth against the other man’s. Water still dripped from Baxter’s hair, his whole body vibrating with sudden pressing need and happiness. He reacted instantly, reaching back and reciprocating the affection with equal force. Cox’s lips were still chapped, his skin burned from the heat outside and bandaged from the gunshot wound. Baxter let his tongue out the tiniest bit, wetting the other man’s lips for him before he began to kiss again. Cox reacted to the movement with fervor, his whole body pressing against Baxter and holding him close and tight enough to break. They kissed each other too passionately to stop, breathing coming fast and heavy.

"Oh, Oh God…” Baxter whispered, trying to keep himself quiet before he heard a voice out in the hall. He pulled himself away, grabbing a hold of the other man’s shoulder and holding the towel tight against his chest.

“You two alright in there? Did you fall asleep?” Rick’s voice vibrated against the walls, and the two men quickly pulled themselves fully apart before he could reach the room. They shared a quick glance, Baxter let his eyes tear up again for only a second before he wiped them and pushed himself out, leaving Eric standing and watching him go.

=

The breeze blew in harsh through the small window, stars twinkling against the black sky. The two men sat on the bench under it, cooled by the air and letting the sound of their breathing fill it as the only sound.

“You said something earlier I keep thinking about,” Baxter whispered, looking down and scuffing the ground with his shoe. “A couple of things.”

“I was upset. Prob’ly said lots of things” The other man responded, a sharp edge to his voice that Baxter only let himself be cut by for a second before speaking again.

“Yes, y-you did. But I wanted to talk to you about something specifically.” He looked up, trying only for a second to gain eye contact before looking down again. “You really think uh, you think- you’re that bad of a person right?”

The other man sniffed quietly, rubbing a hand against his face. “Yeah. I mean- why wouldn’t I think that? You heard what Woody said; I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I fucked everything up since I arrived.”

“I don’t think so.” Baxter placed both hands on the bench underneath him, sinking into his shoulders and leaning against the stone wall behind him. “I don’t- I’m glad you’re here” He stammered, almost tucking his chin into his chest.

“No you’re not!” Cox laughed, his voice echoing around the room. “Qui-you and everybody; I know you didn’t want me to come. I got too angry and I just- I didn’t think. I fucked it up.”

“We’ve all fucked this up.” Baxter looked at the wall across from him, his eyebrows furrowing “You’re no different. No better than you. We just have to, you know, keep going. and besides-” He curled his hands next to him, tendons flexing for a second before he let his pinkie rest on the other man’s hand. “I- I like you. I like that you’re here”

Cox turned at the sensation and the words, his throat suddenly incredibly tight. “You like me?”

Baxter laughed, his head hitting the back wall for a second before he looked over and met his companion’s eyes “Of course I do! I like- don’t tell them this, but I like all of you. Even when you’re useless twats like you all have been, I still like you. Sometimes I even like, I don’t know… Love you.”

Cox nodded softly to himself, his voice small and strained, tears welling up in his eyes. “I like you too.”

=

“You don’t need to talk to him. He’s fine.” Quinn leaned closer, pressing his body against the other man’s back and speaking into the soft curve of his shoulder. “He’s a little shit, always has been.”

“He’s been nice to me.” Cox mumbled into the pillow, tucking his face into the fabric.

“See how long that lasts, until you piss him off.” Quinn said quietly, leaning back and letting go as the other man turned to face him. His eyes weren't clear in the darkness but still just as painful as Quinn felt them make contact with his own. “Sorry.”

“No, You’re not. You don’t like him, but that’s not my problem.” Cox cut his voice through the air. “He’s been nicer to me than any of you have been.”

“We had sex, is that not nice enough?”

“No, really not.”

Cox pushed the mans arms away from him, releasing his hands clasped from his stomach and sitting up on the small cot.

“No, don’t do that, not tonight.” Quinn pushed himself up too, reaching out his hands and pulling the man back towards him “I didn’t mean to say anything wrong.”

“Quinn, I know what you saw.” Cox hissed, pushing himself even farther away and standing up from the taut fabric. “You can say anything you want; he cares about you. You should try and do the same.”

“I do ca-...I don’t have to do anything for him, especially not now.”

The other man curled his lips up into an irritated sneer, rubbing a hand over his face. “No, you don’t. I don’t have to do shit for you either, but I still do.”

He made his way to the stone doorway, giving a short sharp slap against the wall. “You prick.”

=

“Looks like Bax made a friend...” Rick’s voice was quiet, but the sound of it was still echoing around the walls of the small church.

Baxter’s eyes snapped open from sleep, and tried to quickly and desperately remember where he was. He immediately recognized the warm, steady weight around him, fingers clutching him close on the cold floor. The heat was still evident even in the building, and the other man’s skin seemed to melt into Baxter’s. Sweat coated his forehead, but he still refused to move from his spot.

“Shut it, Rick” the voice cradling him said, and above that another deeper voice repeated it.

Quinn curled sideways on a bench near them, his chin tucked into his chest and his breathing quiet and strained with the heat.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Baxter hissed, looking up into the calm, almost-still sleeping face of Cox holding him.

“You fell asleep here,” He responded, his eyes still closed and his voice heavy. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Fucking…” Baxter pushed himself up, shooting a glare at Woody and Rick sitting in the aisle “Christ!”

“Calm down Bax, nothing happened,” Quinn muttered, watching the smaller man storm off into the spare room upstairs. “Christ knows you needed someone doing Something.”

Cox watched him, his face slowly dropping and growing pale before he dropped back down, curling into the blanket and the empty space on the sleeping bag.


End file.
